Mary Kom, the 2014 Bollywood movie based on the famous sportsperson by the same name from the North-eastern State of Manipur, has been truly inspiring. The journey of her life from being an angry schoolgirl beating all odds to an international sports icon achieving her goal has been depicted well.
After watching the movie, what inspired me apart from her dedication and achievements in the field of sports was her way of converting the negative energy into a positive one through boxing. I instantly related to the protagonist as I am an angry woman too. However, Mary Kom’s praiseworthy action differed from my regrettable action. I then recollected incidents related to anger, including two childhood incidents.
Once, as punishment I let my baby sister shiver in the cold. Later, I fell asleep forgetting about her suffering. Another time, I tore to pieces some of the paint works of my younger brother and smashed under hammer his favourite toy car. I still regret those cruel acts and their reference here may be a kind of written apology to them.
With the passage of time, my siblings, my own, may have forgiven me or forgotten these bitter memories. But later in life, I realised that the outer world is crueller and one can’t use anger to deal with it every time. I experienced this on many occasions.
During my stay in a hostel, I shared a room with two students. One was nice. The other, a dominating and outspoken one, instigated me on a few occasions to have a verbal fight. This only led to anxiety in me while she remained untouched. We, the calmer duo, in her absence, discussed the matter, trying to solve it without resorting to violent ways or taking the matter to the warden. During one such discussion, suddenly an idea hit us. Why not hit her pillow to pour out our anger? We translated our idea into action. To our surprise, we laughed till our hearts ached.
As we grow up and come out of our shell, next to home is the office where we spend most of our time. Here, dealing with bosses and colleagues need many skills. Some say to survive in a job, one should follow the mantra ‘the boss is always right’. I changed a few jobs as I couldn’t follow this mantra and expressed my anger rather than using the diplomatic way of resolving a few problems. In fact, I earned the name angry bird from a senior colleague-cum-friend because of this trait.
Later, I regretted those decisions until I was lucky enough to find another job. I remember, one of my hostel mates suggesting a funny idea to deal with the boss when angry – say nothing, just stare into their eyes. It really works. They stop scolding you and they seem to understand your state of mind. I never tried this one.
And how does one deal with matters of the heart when love is unrequited? My feelings find expressions through woven words as we all know words are mightier than a sword (my twisted version of a pen is mightier than a sword). It is another way of converting the negative feelings into a positive one.
On analysing the reasons behind my anger, I found that sometimes it stems from an identity crisis, the natural instinct to gain supremacy, lack of communication, ardent desire to get something, etc. In my case, it has led to stress, strained relationships and kept me bereft of monetary benefits. Anger can also have a greater impact on our society as a whole, if not controlled.
Life is too short to remain angry and society is too precious to turn it into hell. If some of you are facing the same problem, wake up soon and shoot the angry bird in you by conversion of the energy as I did.